TNA Impact 16 minutes?

[Champ]

It's good, then it sucks. It's good, then it sucks. There's things about it I love and things I can't stand.



Things that piss me off:

- Why the fuck is Jeff Jarrett always in distress? Every time they go to the back, "not now JB! Not now! Life on the Impact Zone is too tough to do an interview without b1tching." It's like the Main Event Mafia own his mental stability so badly. If anything, JB's persistence is the best part of those segments

- Then you have Mick Foley who hangs out in the office acting like a 5 year old. It's like he thinks he's cute. His long winded promos are also annoying

- Samoa Joe. I don't know what it is but I hate him. I hate him now more than before with his new gimmick. Did he just tell Kurt Angle he is going to "kill" him? Come on. It's so dumb. "Joe's gonna kill you. Joe's gonna kill you." It's more like Joe's going to kill a box of donuts the fat bastard

- The Beautiful people are becoming annoying too. It's like they're unbelievably obnoxious. "IIILLLL! Yuuuck! Uhhh, WHAT.....EVVVER SKANK!" Shut up whores. The only good thing they did was toss that useless piece of crap Kip last night. Angelina Love looks like a tranny with a great body. Madison Rayne looks like a horse with a great body and Velvet.....Well, Velvet's hot, can't go there

- Which brings me to Sojourner Bolt. It's almost like that gut on her makes her look like she'd also have nasty breath. She's a good wrestler but she's just disgusting

- Pleas unmask Raisha Saeed already. She's actually not that bad looking



Things I like:

- Cody Deaner!! This guy is so awesome. We need more segments with him and ODB

- Beer Money. I'm loving Beer Money lately. I know MS has been putting Storm over and I think it's finally time I do too. He and Roode have been on their game and Team 3D seems to really be helping their careers. I like that Team 3D is giving back. They're so accomplished at this point they may as well use that status to get their piers over

- The British guys are good too. I like Doug and Brutus. Rob's kind of like a goofy looking punk kid with an insane physique

- Lethal Consequences and MCMG trying to figure out who Suicide is has been pretty entertaining. It's also hard not to enjoy a MCMG segment

- I actually like Daniels better than AJ. I wish they'd push him instead

- Scott Steiner. He hasn't done much lately but his promos on Samoa Joe when Joe first came back like a maniac were funny. I loved how he was calling him a fat bastard. Steiner is actually a lot funnier than I gave him credit for over the years. I liked how he was playing Sharmell and Jenna at the same time saying they both apologized. Then JB calls him out and he's like "I got this, I got this". lol It's funnier watching it than telling the story

- Eric Young! Destroying Jarrett just put him higher up on my list too

- Matt Morgan is on his way up the roster. He's going to be the shit sooner than later

- Dr. Stevie owning Abyss is also very amusing. Abyss ownage is like TNA's Kane ownage



Things I'm neutral with:

- The Main Event Mafia. I could care less whether they keep going or if they die next week. It makes no difference. I'm glad Sting downsized it last night though because it was starting to remind me a little of the later NWO days. The security is useless and Sharmell and Jenna just aggrivate the storyline, IMO. Rocco and Sally might make a decent tag team otherwise though. They worked pretty well against Morgan in that handicapped a few weeks ago

- I'm also neutral with awesome Kong. She's just kind of "there" to me


Ah I've been needing to rant about TNA for a while. I feel much better

[Champ]

A little bonus. Raisha Unmasked

[MasterSnit]

May 29, 2009 12:56:01 GMT -5 Champ said:

It's good, then it sucks. It's good, then it sucks. There's things about it I love and things I can't stand.

I feel the same way. I watched it this week and, although I did enjoy some parts, it's not hooking me enough to go out of my way and watch it next week. Too much annoyances to go with the good.



Things that piss me off:

May 29, 2009 12:56:01 GMT -5 Champ said:

- Why the fuck is Jeff Jarrett always in distress? Every time they go to the back, "not now JB! Not now! Life on the Impact Zone is too tough to do an interview without b1tching." It's like the Main Event Mafia own his mental stability so badly. If anything, JB's persistence is the best part of those segments

That is true. If I had a penny for every time Jeff Jarrett said, "Not now, JB!", then I'd probably have about a tenner. That doesn't sound like a lot, but he does say that same line almost every week.

May 29, 2009 12:56:01 GMT -5 Champ said:

- Then you have Mick Foley who hangs out in the office acting like a 5 year old. It's like he thinks he's cute. His long winded promos are also annoying

I think I've mentioned it before, but I've never really been much of a Foley fan. I liked him best as Mankind back in '96 when he came in to WWF and had a great feud with the Undertaker. But since when he started mixing his wrestling persona with who he actually is and became no more than Mick Foley, the guy, dressed up as someone, well I've never taken to him. There is just something about him, the real Mick Foley who he tries to be as often as he can, that I don't like.

May 29, 2009 12:56:01 GMT -5 Champ said:

- Samoa Joe. I don't know what it is but I hate him. I hate him now more than before with his new gimmick. Did he just tell Kurt Angle he is going to "kill" him? Come on. It's so dumb. "Joe's gonna kill you. Joe's gonna kill you." It's more like Joe's going to kill a box of donuts the fat bastard

They really have almost ruined Joe. The moment Kurt Angle came in and made Joe his pregnant dog wiped out the hard work he had put in for the previous two years in TNA. And since then, he has pretty much been one of those characters who float about with no real direction.
His fat Mad Max gimmick right now is horrible. Scouring the Earth for violence and cheesecakes.
I can't ever take a wrestling storyline seriously when they throw the word "kill" around.

May 29, 2009 12:56:01 GMT -5 Champ said:

- The Beautiful people are becoming annoying too. It's like they're unbelievably obnoxious. "IIILLLL! Yuuuck! Uhhh, WHAT.....EVVVER SKANK!" Shut up whores. The only good thing they did was toss that useless piece of crap Kip last night. Angelina Love looks like a tranny with a great body. Madison Rayne looks like a horse with a great body and Velvet.....Well, Velvet's hot, can't go there

I think they are ok. Well, Angelina and Velvet. I don't know much about Shergar. Kicking out Billy Gunn is something they should have did a long time ago. Billy Gunn should move into the Tornado rescue business now that he is gone from TNA because he sucks so much he could suck half the tornados out of Kansas.

May 29, 2009 12:56:01 GMT -5 Champ said:

- Which brings me to Sojourner Bolt. It's almost like that gut on her makes her look like she'd also have nasty breath. She's a good wrestler but she's just disgusting

I've not seen much of her. When I was last watching semi-regularly she was just coming in. I still wonder why they would ditch a proven and established character like Roxxi for some of the newer girls when it doesn't seem like it's needed.

May 29, 2009 12:56:01 GMT -5 Champ said:

- Please unmask Raisha Saeed already. She's actually not that bad looking

She goes by the name Cheerleader Melissa on the Indys. I'm sure the Saeed character will run it's course soon enough now that Kong isn't champion and will be needing a new direction.



Things I like:

May 29, 2009 12:56:01 GMT -5 Champ said:

- Cody Deaner!! This guy is so awesome. We need more segments with him and ODB

Yeeeeeeeah BOY! He even falls off of ladders in a funny manner.

May 29, 2009 12:56:01 GMT -5 Champ said:

- Beer Money. I'm loving Beer Money lately. I know MS has been putting Storm over and I think it's finally time I do too. He and Roode have been on their game and Team 3D seems to really be helping their careers. I like that Team 3D is giving back. They're so accomplished at this point they may as well use that status to get their piers over

Oh, so now you want to jump on the Storm Wagon, eh?
They really have become a good tag team. One thing that I do really like about TNA is that, very much unlike WWE, they seem to take some pride in their tag division. And Storm and Roode are defintely the best around right now.
I still think Storm is good enough to be a singles main eventer and future champion is he's given the break, but Beer Money are really entertaining right now so there is no need to change that.
Wheras WWE had Miz and Morrison as their top tag team, Beer Money are the equivalent in TNA but, again unlike WWE, they have credible opponents and teams like 3-D, Machine Guns and LAX. Wheras Miz and Morrison had so little to work with they were pretty much relegated to the Dirt Sheet and used as fillers on shows to pad up existing feuds between other wrestlers.

May 29, 2009 12:56:01 GMT -5 Champ said:

- The British guys are good too. I like Doug and Brutus. Rob's kind of like a goofy looking punk kid with an insane physique

That promo they gave was totally gay, though. It's maybe something that is genetic in us Scots but English accents often irritate me. The two guys talking sounded like real prats. "Jolly good, cup of tea then a game of cricket, old chap?"
And the emo freak who stood and didn't say anything, I think he is Welsh. Good thing he didn't speak and hopefully he never does. Welsh accents are probably the worst. Or joint worst with the London cockney accent.

May 29, 2009 12:56:01 GMT -5 Champ said:

- Lethal Consequences and MCMG trying to figure out who Suicide is has been pretty entertaining. It's also hard not to enjoy a MCMG segment

I bet when Suicide is finally unmasked in about 3 months time it is Mr. Kennedy.

May 29, 2009 12:56:01 GMT -5 Champ said:

- I actually like Daniels better than AJ. I wish they'd push him instead

I like both, but I agree that I'd like to see Daniels pushed instead. I think he could cut it as a main eventer or world champion.

May 29, 2009 12:56:01 GMT -5 Champ said:

- Scott Steiner. He hasn't done much lately but his promos on Samoa Joe when Joe first came back like a maniac were funny. I loved how he was calling him a fat bastard. Steiner is actually a lot funnier than I gave him credit for over the years. I liked how he was playing Sharmell and Jenna at the same time saying they both apologized. Then JB calls him out and he's like "I got this, I got this". lol It's funnier watching it than telling the story

First thing's first. Who the fuck is Jenna? Is that Nash's wife?

And yes, Steiner is hilarious. I gave him a really hard time when he was in WWE some years back when he could hardly walk but since going to TNA he has been one of the best characters.
I don't think he said or did anything last week, but when he was walking down to the ring he just seemed to give someone in the crowd the finger for no reason. I was laughing at that.
His rants on Joe were great too. "S'mo Joe you fat bastard! See this, this is muscle, where all you got is fat cuz you like eating twinkies and cakes. You ain't no genetic freak, you're nothing but a flabby bellied wobbling fat bastard!"

May 29, 2009 12:56:01 GMT -5 Champ said:

- Eric Young! Destroying Jarrett just put him higher up on my list too

He's been in need of a direction for years.

May 29, 2009 12:56:01 GMT -5 Champ said:

- Matt Morgan is on his way up the roster. He's going to be the shit sooner than later

Not a big fan of Morgan. Yet, anyway.

May 29, 2009 12:56:01 GMT -5 Champ said:

- Dr. Stevie owning Abyss is also very amusing. Abyss ownage is like TNA's Kane ownage

Yeah, Abyss ownage is always funny. Stevie with Raven and Daffney should be good. Weird characters are always welcome.

May 29, 2009 12:56:01 GMT -5 Champ said:

Things I'm neutral with:

- The Main Event Mafia. I could care less whether they keep going or if they die next week. It makes no difference. I'm glad Sting downsized it last night though because it was starting to remind me a little of the later NWO days. The security is useless and Sharmell and Jenna just aggrivate the storyline, IMO. Rocco and Sally might make a decent tag team otherwise though. They worked pretty well against Morgan in that handicapped a few weeks ago

Once the feud with the... what were they called? The Front Line? Once that fizzles out, or maybe it already has, there isn't really much for them to do.
The security guys seem quite funny. They just stand there like two goons.

May 29, 2009 12:56:01 GMT -5 Champ said:

- I'm also neutral with awesome Kong. She's just kind of "there" to me

I think the big black mute monster gimmick has run its course.




There seemed to be a lot of newer or returning people on the roster since when I last watched.
Dr. Stevie, Daffney, Raven, Amazing Red, Shane Douglas, Daniels.
I'd much rather see this happen than them bring in Bobby Lashley every couple of weeks to walk out onto the ramp and stare at people.
Some suggestions I would give would be to highlight the alternatives they offer from WWE, such as their cruiserweights (X-Division) and non-PG storylines.
I feel they are getting most things right, but there are still a few things that are off. Most noticable to me is the main event. It seems like it's too mumbled, crowded and overly-complicated, with too much emphasis of the backstage soap opera and not enough attention on the wrestlers actually wanting to be the champion of the world.

[Champ]

I bet when Suicide is finally unmasked in about 3 months time it is Mr. Kennedy.

I burst out loud laughing when I read that because I can totally see that happening

There seemed to be a lot of newer or returning people on the roster since when I last watched.
Dr. Stevie, Daffney, Raven, Amazing Red, Shane Douglas, Daniels.
I'd much rather see this happen than them bring in Bobby Lashley every couple of weeks to walk out onto the ramp and stare at people.

Shane Douglas hasn't been around. Amazing Red just returned and basically became a jobber, but very good in the ring, so he's ok by me. I think Stevie plays a great sadistic character. He always had that unique look that something was just mentally off about him. That's why I loved him with Victoria when JR called him a Yayhoo.
Daffney isn't the best looking chick around but why do I want to nail her so bad? Daffney sucked as the Governer. I'm glad she's back to her freak gimmick.

Some suggestions I would give would be to highlight the alternatives they offer from WWE, such as their cruiserweights (X-Division) and non-PG storylines.
I feel they are getting most things right, but there are still a few things that are off. Most noticable to me is the main event. It seems like it's too mumbled, crowded and overly-complicated, with too much emphasis of the backstage soap opera and not enough attention on the wrestlers actually wanting to be the champion of the world.

Dude, you are so spot on with that. TNA has a clear advantage with the cruiser/X guys and they have the non-PG advantage where they can do edgier stuff. That's what the should be capitalizing on. When I watch a different promotion other than WWE I look for what they have to offer that WWE doesn't

As for the main event, it really seems more like competition for power as opposed to people wanting to simply be the TNA champion. The main storyline is about Jeff Jarrett's panties in a bunch, The main event mafia fighting for power and direction, Joe wanting to kill people, AJ trying to prove to Booker that he's as worthy of a legend as him, and last but not least, a non-fighting TNA champion that comes to the ring in sweatpants and gives longer more boring promos than Triple H

[MasterSnit]

Jun 2, 2009 16:01:05 GMT -5 Champ said:

I think Stevie plays a great sadistic character. He always had that unique look that something was just mentally off about him. That's why I loved him with Victoria when JR called him a Yayhoo.

Yeah, he looks to be doing well in that role. I always thought Stevie was one of those wrestlers who were vastly underused in WWE. If not as a full-time wrestler due to his frequent injuries, then at least as an on screen character.

Jun 2, 2009 16:01:05 GMT -5 Champ said:

Daffney isn't the best looking chick around but why do I want to nail her so bad?

You answered your own question. It's because she is a freak. You could go to a nightclub and be surrounded by hundreds of "Beautiful People" almost any time you want. But the odds of meeting someone like Daffney are far slimmer. The things she might do behind the closed door or a seedy motel room are probably things the "Beautiful People" would never even imagine.

Jun 2, 2009 16:01:05 GMT -5 Champ said:

Some suggestions I would give would be to highlight the alternatives they offer from WWE, such as their cruiserweights (X-Division) and non-PG storylines.
I feel they are getting most things right, but there are still a few things that are off. Most noticable to me is the main event. It seems like it's too mumbled, crowded and overly-complicated, with too much emphasis of the backstage soap opera and not enough attention on the wrestlers actually wanting to be the champion of the world.

Dude, you are so spot on with that. TNA has a clear advantage with the cruiser/X guys and they have the non-PG advantage where they can do edgier stuff. That's what the should be capitalizing on. When I watch a different promotion other than WWE I look for what they have to offer that WWE doesn't

As for the main event, it really seems more like competition for power as opposed to people wanting to simply be the TNA champion. The main storyline is about Jeff Jarrett's panties in a bunch, The main event mafia fighting for power and direction, Joe wanting to kill people, AJ trying to prove to Booker that he's as worthy of a legend as him, and last but not least, a non-fighting TNA champion that comes to the ring in sweatpants and gives longer more boring promos than Triple H

LOL. Yeah, Jarrett's panties are constantly in a bunch.
If they could just sort the main event out then I would probably start watching on a weekly basis again.

Oh, and shoot Tenay and West, too.

[Naitch]

I like TNA. It entertains me for the most of the two hours. Theres my evaluation.

MS, you don't like Tenay after his heel turn? I loved some of the shit spewing out of his mouth.

[MasterSnit]

Wait a second. Who is who again? The colour guy is Don West right, and he turned heel? The guy that looks like Alf.
I forgot about that.
Maybe he's a little better. It's his constant shouting with that raspy voice that bugs me more than anything.
And anytime a heel gets one up on a face, the other one, Tenay, acts as though it's the most awful thing ever for about 3 seconds, then instead of letting the affect of the moment sink in it's, "And I'm hearing there's something going on in the back! Take it JB!"

"Mike, I'm standing outside Jeff Jarrett's office where he has been locked inside for a whole 27 minutes. After Kurt Angle took the last chicken sandwich at catering and Mick Foley tried to have a conversation with him about his 8th sure to be best-seller book entitled "Fat Arse in sweatpants", he's been trying to unbunch his panties with no success. Once I have more on this story which is more exciting than a Motor City Machine Guns promo or more important than a match to highlight some under-card wrestlers, I'll let you know!"

[Naitch]

I said Tenay I meant Don West. And yes the Alf looking fucker.

[Champ]

For the most part the overall program entertains me too because I named like 9 things that I liked about it. That's a lot of shit to like about a program. A year or 2 ago I would have said, I only like the Paparazzi productions. So TNA improved big time as far as I'm concerned. Even though there's shit that pisses me off the good still outweighs the bad enough to get me to tune in every week

[Naitch]

I'm glad you guys enjoy it too. And to be honest Champ, I'm just finding the posts you and MS have been putting out a little overwhelming to respond too.

[Champ]

Well it was a lot of commenting to take in. I've been wanting to make this post for about 2 months. I just finally got to it and added a lot of little things along the way so I ended up evaluating it and making that post longer than I thought. You know how I am by now lol

I'm watching tonight's Impact and the Nash/Foley/JB segment backstage is hilarious. First of all, there's one thing that makes TNA backstage segments great. Instead of in WWE, where there's just so ironically a camera to catch every little conversation, TNA is actually doing an interview and it just so happened to turn into a funny backstage segment. That's one thing I can say I like more in TNA and WWE. I love how all of their interviews somehow seemingly turn into improvised backstage segments.

Then Kev comes walking in

Mick: Hey Kev

Kev: MEEEECK! What are you smokin?

Mick: well, Lethal Lockdown, you in the match, could be great ratings...

Kev: I don't care about that. I could care less if 1 person watches or 50 million, I just wanna get paid!

EDIT: LMAO I just saw the part with Booker and Steiner talking about Joe! First of all Booker's delivery these days is just awesome and Steiner has had a lot of funny shit to say lately

Booker: Sombod gon get hit...we hit em! Thas whas gon happen to Joe, from da BLINDSIDE! PUt em down! Big Kev, good Job baby *turns to Steiner with his hand out* gimme some!

steiner: Threats are a part of wrestling but it's about who's giving the threats. THIS FAT SON OF A pregnant dog says he's going to take us out!

Scott Scott relax

Steiner: HE'S FAT!!!


And Naitch! The Cody Deaner training segments actually started! Instead of him in the Power Plant ODB is his trainer instead. It's just like we envisioned with him totally sucking in the beginning LOL

[MasterSnit]

The Deaner needs the Dean to make him into a lean mean wrestling machine.



Yeah!

[Champ]

Samoa Joe needs the Simon System!

This fat son of a b1tch

Scott Scott Relax

He's FAT!! LMAO. I can't get over how much Steiner has been making me laugh the past few weeks. It's like TNA just brings out the best in some guys promos because they seem like a lot less pressure than WWE. When i see the main event mafia in a backstage segment, it almost reminds me of that Drew Carey show, "who's Line is it anyway?" like they're totally improvising the whole segment. That's what makes it good

[Champ]

For those keeping track, TNA iMPACT! last night only had 16 total minutes of actual in-ring wrestling during the show. It was, however, the go-home show for this Sunday's "Slammiversary" PPV, which we will have live play-by-play coverage of here on the website.