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Post by MasterSnit on May 3, 2010 16:43:46 GMT -5
It's not like the NFL pulls random stipulations out of their ass for the Superbowl. If TNA was booking the Superbowl, they'd switch it to a triangular field, have three teams competing, put the ball on a pole (which can only be accessed by a key in a box which unlocks another box which contains a key for the box containing the ladder which must be climbed to retrieve the briefcase from a purpose-built scaffold and the briefcase has to be cashed in with one of the refs for the contract with the hot-air balloon company to float up to the roof and then zipwire down to retrieve the ball), and have the winner decided by who fumbled the ball the most. That is one Superbowl I would watch. Rob Terry's push in another stupid decision. His job last week was to lift up and throw a guy, then boot another in the face. Food and drink for a wrestler you'd think. But he botched both. He sucks. And he's Welsh. And like Naitch said, calling it the Global title did make sense initially when Eric Young was the leader of the World Elite (Non-U.S. wrestlers) and stated he'd only defend it on foreign soil. But seeing as they hold 95% of their shows in Florida... yeah.
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Post by Champ on May 3, 2010 17:14:57 GMT -5
LMAO!!!! If that doesn't perfectly describe TNA in a nutshell, I don't know what will.
I had to take a break from reading after "Triangular field/ball on the pole/key with ladder in box to retrieve briefcase" because I started LOLing too much because it's so f'n true. It shows you just how cracked out it's been. They've been making the RAW writers look like geniuses
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Post by Velkontés on May 3, 2010 19:51:54 GMT -5
More treating-titles-like-jokes news:
I'm watching a bit of Impact before Raw starts, and Douglas Williams referred to the injustice of being stripped of the title while he was stranded because of the volcano. So they're making an angle out of it, but leads me to say, once again: having an on-screen character pointing out the stupidity of the plot he is involved in doesn't make it less stupid.
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Post by Champ on May 3, 2010 23:12:51 GMT -5
speaking of TNA stupidity, Abyss wins Ric Flair's HOF ring last week. So Hogan tells us, "wait til we see who he gives the ring to". So, with a huge prestige like Ric Flair's HOF ring, there's so many interesting ways to go about it. 1. Give it to a guy in the company who has been a legend in the business but never received an accolade like being put in the HOF as a nice little put over. 2. Give it to a guy who can use the rub and give him a nice little angle to play off of it. 3. Give it to a lowcard jobber, have him come out and imitate Flair, then give him the ring back and have Flair smack him around........Oh, wait, that would just be STUPID and POINTLESS and make the HOF ring stripping of FLair last week make NO SENSE Here's another interesting way to book a live show. You have a segment with Hogan and Bischoff sitting in a limo, have them talk about how the plane is landing in 7 minutes and all the "big fish" are defecting over to the TNA pond". So basically you admit that your competition owns you and Shelton, Jimmy Wang Yang, and Mike Knox(with all due respect) are the "big fish" we're supposed to get psyched about. Then, by the end of the night, don't deliver on ANYTHING. Now THAT'S how you psyche out a crowd and set up a huge surprise for the following week ![::)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/eyesroll.png) Another thing that would have been awesome is to give Team 3D two entrances in one night and give the MCMG no entrance. It leaves a little mystery for the Machine Guns. There's also nothing like, putting 3 Knockout titles on the line in one single match every week where someone can pin a tag champion because it raises SUCH and interesting question......... Aside from the girl that pins one of the tag champs, who the hell else becomes the second tag champ when there's 3 knockouts total on your team? And shit, have them pin Lacey while you're at it. She's not even technically one of the tag champs. That would raise SO much controversy and chaos and you gotta LOVE clusterfucks that make no sense! Jesse Neal and Shannon Moore are a tag team called Ink Inc now. Really? God I hope this leads to Jesse running Shannon over with an army hummer And surprise surprise, the fans actually voted Desmond Wolfe to receive a title shot?! Seriously?!?! You mean the fans actually think Desmond is a good wrestler and deserved it?!?! But....but Hogan knows what's best for us and buried Desmond in a wrestling ring hole like Snitsky's push! I figured Hogan knew what was best for us and knew exactly what we wanted to see! With that said, I wish Knobs didn't behave like a douche hole because I would much rather see the Nasty Boys get air time than Desmond Wolfe I'm sorry I have to keep stealing this from you, V but, GOD, THIS FUCK ING COMPANYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!
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Post by Velkontés on May 7, 2010 18:21:24 GMT -5
There's also nothing like, putting 3 Knockout titles on the line in one single match every week where someone can pin a tag champion because it raises SUCH and interesting question......... Aside from the girl that pins one of the tag champs, who the hell else becomes the second tag champ when there's 3 knockouts total on your team? And shit, have them pin Lacey while you're at it. She's not even technically one of the tag champs. That would raise SO much controversy and chaos and you gotta LOVE clusterfucks that make no sense! It's fucking lazy, is what it is. If they have more than one Knockout match per show then they might have to pay them more than $400/show. So they have these 6 or 8 women tag matches each week. Bung as many Knockouts as possible into one match - to hell with making sense - and pay them peanuts. Is Madison Rayne the girl who didn't win a match for two years or whatever it was? And now she's World Champion? Man, if only we had some kind of resource where every wrestler's victories and defeats were tabulated. nah, I'm ribbing you. 4-23 in 2009. 4-23 just screams "World Champion". Yeah, it's like the worst thing that can happen to you in TNA is prove you're even slightly a draw. It's just as well Des isn't a woman, otherwise he'd be getting paid $400 a show to boot. What I don't understand is they're apparently still trying to make Big Rob happen, and yet Desmond Wolfe is RIGHT THERE! and they make him a clueless putz!
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Post by Champ on May 7, 2010 19:51:39 GMT -5
I'm pretty sure all 4 of those matches were tagteam matches where Madison didn't even get the pinfall either. I actually recall Madison NEVER getting a pinfall until earlier this year, and that was a tag match too. I actually don't EVER recall Madison winning a 1 on 1 match before her title win come to think of it. If she did, it only happened once. Velvet should have won the belt instead
Oh speaking of Madison Rain and getting paid peanuts, you'll LOVE this one, V!!
Apparently, Madison missed the last TNA tapings because she couldn't AFFORD traveling expenses to get to the show! The fuckin TNA Knockout's champion gets paid such shit that she couldn't even afford to get to the show! Now THAT'S fuckin pathetic! It totally explains why they put the belt on Madison too. She's the lowest paid Knockout with good crowd heat.
This is all becoming so saddening
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Post by Velkontés on May 8, 2010 15:25:03 GMT -5
I'm pretty sure all 4 of those matches were tagteam matches where Madison didn't even get the pinfall either. I actually recall Madison NEVER getting a pinfall until earlier this year, and that was a tag match too. I actually don't EVER recall Madison winning a 1 on 1 match before her title win come to think of it. If she did, it only happened once. Velvet should have won the belt instead Wait - she won the title in a 6-woman tag match. Does that mean she is still yet to win a 1-on-1 match? Even Sheamus beat some jobbers before becoming champion. That's how I'd put it too. That's just sad. If they're having to pay their own travelling expenses they can hardly be making any money at all. Like, the cameramen and caterers are probably making more money than the talent.
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Post by MasterSnit on May 8, 2010 17:46:56 GMT -5
Yeah, that sucks.
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Post by Champ on May 8, 2010 20:15:21 GMT -5
If she has won a 1 on 1 match, it's literally only like 1 or 2. I'm not even joking
After reading about Madison not having money for travel expenses, it really hit me like a ton of bricks that Hogan's not going to last with TNA. It's just getting SO fucked that he's never going to be able to dig them out of this hole. The best thing he can do is walk away and let it heal like a bad injury. The longer Hogan sticks around, you may as well inject aids into the vein of the company
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Post by Velkontés on May 9, 2010 4:21:52 GMT -5
I just went to vote for Desmond Wolfe in the contender's poll because fuck TNA, that's why.
As of posting, Des has 205,000 votes (51%) with Matt Morgan 2nd at 138,000 (34%). Meth Hardy has 3%. Don't worry Abyss fans (all three of you) he's only 204,700 votes behind!
Desmond Wolfe is leading the poll again. Fucking hilarious. Wrestling is funny.
I can't wait to see what logic-defying, intelligence-insulting plot device they're going to pull out of their ass to screw Desmond over again. Like, seriously, I want to watch Impact to find out.
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Post by Champ on May 9, 2010 16:37:58 GMT -5
Either that, or I can't wait to hear what bullshit story they're going to give us on how TNA ALWAYS had so much confidence in Desmond Wolfe and knew he was world championship material.
They'll either have him fall in another hole and Abyss will have to step up to the plate, or they pretend they had all this faith in Desomond and "they're glad the fans see it too"
TNA sucks with Hogan and Bischoff. Did I mention that?
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Post by Velkontés on May 10, 2010 1:01:59 GMT -5
Either that, or I can't wait to hear what bullshit story they're going to give us on how TNA ALWAYS had so much confidence in Desmond Wolfe and knew he was world championship material. They'll either have him fall in another hole and Abyss will have to step up to the plate, or they pretend they had all this faith in Desomond and "they're glad the fans see it too" TNA sucks with Hogan and Bischoff. Did I mention that? lol. I could see that happening too. Although Eric Bischoff saying that he can definitely, absolutely sees Desmond Wolfe as a future World Champion would be the quickest way of making sure he gets killed like Snitsky's push.
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Post by Champ on May 12, 2010 9:49:22 GMT -5
apparently, Brutus Magnus and Taylor Wylde seem to be the next released victims in line. Both contracts are near expiration and TNA is showing no interest in renewing them
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Post by Naitch on May 12, 2010 16:22:22 GMT -5
apparently, Brutus Magnus and Taylor Wylde seem to be the next released victims in line. Both contracts are near expiration and TNA is showing no interest in renewing them Why wouldn't you keep Taylor Wylde? Shes very pretty and on top of that can go like a motherfucker in the ring.
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Post by Velkontés on May 12, 2010 16:28:47 GMT -5
Because they don't want to pay her?
Oh well. So much for TNA's women's division.
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