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Post by Naitch on Apr 23, 2008 0:06:28 GMT -5
This just in I had a beer already and it's only been 24 hours. I have an excuse though. I had a long talk with my band and even though things are going really well it's very stressful too. There's just a lot of anticipatory anxiety. I don't like playing shows anymore and I get anxiety attacks and depression bouts when I play a lot so I stopped playing out. Today I agreed to get back on stage next month if I want to be successful with everything else I put work into or it's going to pay off for some fuckin hack that walks in and plays my bass lines. I just have a lot of nerves these days about playing shows. I'm not afraid of the stage. I just don't like hanging out in bars and staying out late. I hate the whole music lifestyle but I have to go through with this for my own personal benefit for the time and effort I put in. I just feel like I'm not built for this business even though I know how to play. I'd prefer to just record but recording musicians read music and are told what to do. I don't like being told what to play and in this band I have that freedom. Basically in a nutshell I hate the business but I love playing the songs Thats the problem with being in a small band. If you were in a band that toured and maybe made headbangers ball every now and then you'd just do your set and do whatever. I'm still rooting for you pal!
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Post by Champ on Apr 23, 2008 14:30:49 GMT -5
I appreciate it Naitch. I just hope it all comes together and doesn't turn out to be a waste of time and stress. I really believe in the music. That's the only reason I haven't moved on with my life
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Post by Naitch on Apr 23, 2008 14:59:23 GMT -5
Is it possible for you to show up at whatever bar a little ahead of time of your set, finish, talk to whoever and then just head home? That eliminates the late nights. And your in NYC going into the summer months. I'm sure with Earth Day, Memorial Day, 4th of July, Labor Day etc there might be some nice day things you guys could play at. You don't have to necessarily believe in the cause to make a little green for your wallet.
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Post by Champ on Apr 23, 2008 23:51:00 GMT -5
You're right Naitch. I just beat myself up too much and it shouldn't be an issue if it's going to put the green in my wallet. I should be able to go, play, and leave but I even make that a burden on myself because I'm afraid I'll get real drunk, stay out later than I expected, and get myself in trouble. I have very little will power. I'm trying to quit drinking and smoking right now and I'm having a huge problem with that alone. I just want to kick all my habits and just deal with this shit strongly
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Post by Naitch on Apr 25, 2008 16:32:00 GMT -5
They guys in the band are your bros. I'm sure they would love to help you out if that means you'll be happier playing with them. Make up excuses on why you can't stay late. Like you promised your sister you would cut her hair or that you have to get up in the morning to help your dads friend move. Something and then your out.
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Post by Champ on Apr 25, 2008 21:35:11 GMT -5
Oh dude I'm the king of white lies to get out of hanging out late. I try not to hurt anyone's feelings so I bend the truth a lot of times so I can go about my way and not disappoint anyone at the same time
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